8.26.2011

The Beginning: "OPENED EYES & DARKENED HEARTS"

"You're so close-minded."
"You're so naive."
"You're so ignorant!"

I'm willing to bet that if Satan had just whispered one of the above phrases to Eve, she would have eaten the forbidden fruit much faster than when he used his lengthy, wordy, trickery. No one wants to be viewed as dense, close-minded, naive, or ignorant. No one wants to lack anything, especially knowledge. Many of us spend our lives pursuing knowledge of some sort: psychologists want to know more about the human mind, astronomers about space, doctors about medicine and the human body, etc. Adam and Eve pursued knowledge and they got it.

Genesis 3:7--"Then the eyes of both of them were opened..."

If their eyes were opened at the beginning of the human race (thus passing down to all of us), then why are we still spending our lives seeking something more? Why do we still seek knowledge or an "eye-opening" lesson?
Because when our eyes opened back in the glorious greenhouse stage of the world, something in us closed. Something more crucial to our spiritual walks and our existence than knowledge:

"This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart..." (Eph. 4:17-18)

In the opening of our eyes was the closing of our hearts. Our understanding was darkened. We closed a door to open a window and now we spend the rest of our lives trying to close that window and open the door again.

Often times, in bible studies or church teachings, we mute the importance of the "fall of man". We focus only on the fact that man sinned and jinxed us all (thanks a lot, Adam and Eve). Though their disobedience is important, I think it's more crucial for us to see that the thick cord bonding us to God was reduced to a tiny thread. We closed our hearts and understanding--the two deepest ways that we  commune with God. We use understanding in reading and absorbing His Word, and we use our hearts to talk with Him.

Ever heard the phrase, "heart knowledge vs. head knowledge"? You know how that feels, when you know that God exists, but can't seem to make yourself feel that He does? Some call these moments "dry spells" in the Christian walk or "feeling distant from God". That is from the fall of man. Yes, sin entered the world, too and we were kicked out of the garden, but we made it harder on ourselves--harder to connect with our Lord. It's a constant struggle, but there's hope. We always have more to discover about God and it is possible. Adam and Eve were there once--in His presence. I cherish the minutes I get to spend there, and I will live striving to multiply those minutes for the rest of my life. Maybe someday, my understanding will be lightened, and my heart will not longer be blind.






 
This ends my "Beginning Series". Read the other entries here:

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8.20.2011

Invader

The following is a rather unique entry from my old journal, written February 21, 2011:

I have an invader.
He's taken siege over my mind and is setting up his armies to overtake my heart. You told me he's one of Your men, but I still didn't give him permission. How dare You give him leave to attack? I've spent years building my defenses. I've gathered all the materials--rock, stone, fire. I built the fort myself and then I gave You the password and You let this invader in! I told You no one. No one is allowed in. You didn't listen. You never seem to listen.


Now the invader is in my mind. His spear pokes at every thought that crosses my threshold. He never sleeps and has the audacity to swim in my dreams. His words line a bookshelf in my eyelids and I'm forced to re-read them every time I close my eyes.


I feel him fishing in my heart. His hook is sharp--I know You gave it to him. Only one of Your hooks could pierce me like this. I see You whispering tips on fishing to him sometimes--and he's already skilled. You're the best and he's a quick learner. That's not fair. I can't believe You're giving him lessons. I feel my walls growing weaker. Is that what You want?


But then...this invader is different. I think he has walls, too--walls to which only You know the password. Sometimes I try and peek over them. Sometimes I sneak a glance at the invader himself. He's intriguing. And...he's spreading with the speed of a virus--like a smile. Before long, I'll have to let him completely in if I want to keep any remnant of defense. *sigh* I thought I was invincible, but because of You, I'm being defeated. Because of You I'm forced to endure something...
...beautiful.
 
Funny how God works. Now, I will be marrying this invader in three-and-a-half months. And it is beautiful.



8.06.2011

The Beginning: "MARRIAGE"

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Not much is said about the first wedding. God swirls some dust and "poof!" there's man. Then He swirls a rib and "poof!" there's woman. "...And He brought her to the man." (Genesis 2:22)

That's the first wedding.

Come now. What girl doesn't want to know Eve's wedding colors? The flowers? Whether it was sunset or sunrise? The style of her dress? For the guys in the room, don't you wish marriage was still that simple? No stiff tuxedo or bridezillas? No waiting once you found that girl of your dreams?

So what if? What if weddings were still that simple? Prayer and promises, then God gives the woman to the man. This question arose in my marriage-centered brain after God introduced me to my future husband last November. Only a few months passed before I started saving up for my wedding and planning my life around Daylen Brandes. It was such a clear progression to knowing we were made for each other, but that progression came to a sudden halt thanks to modern requirements--marriage licenses, big productions, caterers, wedding drama. Now we're stuck knowing we should have been married yesterday, but it can't happen without a white dress, preacher, and a lot of relatives.

I spent several days daydreaming about Eve. God just presented her to Adam, they knew they were meant for each other (granted, they were the only two humans on Earth at the time), and voila! they're "married" under God. I would love to just pray with my man and open my eyes as a married woman.
No wonder physical intimacy is often a struggle for Christian couples prior to the wedding--the world says, "Oh, you've realized you want to get married? Okay, hold that thought and wait for 10 months." Suddenly a natural progression of closeness is halted and, whether the couple likes it or not, they're forced into a situation of ultimate, ridiculous, stressful patience.

I just keep thinking, "Hurry up, time! We need to get our life started! God has so many great plans for us once we're married!" Imagine if we started acting on those plans today. Instead, I'm just hoping that I live long enough to make it to my wedding and get going on God's blueprints.


(Be sure to read the introduction to "The Beginning Series" and "The Beginning: Alone")