My experimental juices leaked out of my imagination this morning as I contemplated my breakfast victim.
I wasn't sure what to eat, but I knew I wanted something fresh...something fruity. As I take you through this breakfast process, I wish to inform all males reading this that they are going to take a dangerous ride through the female's mental process.
Don't expect it to make sense.
And don't expect to like it.
I had raspberries in the freezer. Raspberries and milk sounded perfect. So I poured some into a bowl and popped them into the microwave for a few seconds to defrost. When I opened the fridge for the milk, my tiny carton of cream (used mostly for tea) caught my eye and a heavenly mental picture of raspberries and cream shoved the milk out of the way.
Cream is beautiful.
I thought those exact words while pouring it onto my raspberries (thus eliminating the "fresh" aspect). I wanted to take a picture of the cream. Maybe I'm just slightly obsessed with cream....
I sprinkled a little sugar (as if it needed it), added a few less-thawed raspberries to the bowl, and took a bite. Too thick.
On a whim, I thought it might be fun to toss in a drop of extra flavor. Maybe...Irish Cream? Feel free to judge me. I like Irish Cream (maybe because it has the word "cream" in it). I put the tiniest schlook in the bowl, mixed it around, and surveyed the food-kaleidoscope. It looks nothing like breakfast and suddenly I can't imagine myself eating it. Part of me thinks, "Yuck!" and the other part thinks, "Well, you can't waste it and any decent experimenter doesn't ditch a project so near the end."
So in an attempt to make it look more appetizing (and hoping to trick my inner "yuck"-brain into thinking it's still semi-healthy) I add some Honey Bunches of Oats. Stir, stir, stir.
I take a bite.
First impression: "Hm...not horrible."
Second impression: "The raspberries are soggy."
Third impression: "It's still too thick." I add a little water.
Fourth impression: "Yuck."
The "yuck"-brain dominates and I toss it out, sorely disappointed in my experimental side and no longer in the mood for breakfast at all.
And that, dear friends, is how to thoroughly ruin a fresh breakfast. I took no pictures so as not to inhibit you from having breakfast (or lunch or dinner or any food for that matter) after you read this. I thought it only fair to share some of my cooking failures as well as successes. Just in case you are in danger of thinking I'm perfect. ;)
I wasn't sure what to eat, but I knew I wanted something fresh...something fruity. As I take you through this breakfast process, I wish to inform all males reading this that they are going to take a dangerous ride through the female's mental process.
Don't expect it to make sense.
And don't expect to like it.
I had raspberries in the freezer. Raspberries and milk sounded perfect. So I poured some into a bowl and popped them into the microwave for a few seconds to defrost. When I opened the fridge for the milk, my tiny carton of cream (used mostly for tea) caught my eye and a heavenly mental picture of raspberries and cream shoved the milk out of the way.
Cream is beautiful.
I thought those exact words while pouring it onto my raspberries (thus eliminating the "fresh" aspect). I wanted to take a picture of the cream. Maybe I'm just slightly obsessed with cream....
I sprinkled a little sugar (as if it needed it), added a few less-thawed raspberries to the bowl, and took a bite. Too thick.
On a whim, I thought it might be fun to toss in a drop of extra flavor. Maybe...Irish Cream? Feel free to judge me. I like Irish Cream (maybe because it has the word "cream" in it). I put the tiniest schlook in the bowl, mixed it around, and surveyed the food-kaleidoscope. It looks nothing like breakfast and suddenly I can't imagine myself eating it. Part of me thinks, "Yuck!" and the other part thinks, "Well, you can't waste it and any decent experimenter doesn't ditch a project so near the end."
So in an attempt to make it look more appetizing (and hoping to trick my inner "yuck"-brain into thinking it's still semi-healthy) I add some Honey Bunches of Oats. Stir, stir, stir.
I take a bite.
First impression: "Hm...not horrible."
Second impression: "The raspberries are soggy."
Third impression: "It's still too thick." I add a little water.
Fourth impression: "Yuck."
The "yuck"-brain dominates and I toss it out, sorely disappointed in my experimental side and no longer in the mood for breakfast at all.
And that, dear friends, is how to thoroughly ruin a fresh breakfast. I took no pictures so as not to inhibit you from having breakfast (or lunch or dinner or any food for that matter) after you read this. I thought it only fair to share some of my cooking failures as well as successes. Just in case you are in danger of thinking I'm perfect. ;)
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